a beggar gets a gift

Alfred walked down the street, absorbed in his reasons and purposes and intents. He would have kept walking, but was stopped by a beggar, standing still. A beggar in shabby clothes, with everything he owned within his reach and about his person, he called out to passers-by.

"HEY BUDDY" the Someone said.

"..what?" Alfred said.

"SPARE SOME CHANGE?" said Someone.

"I don't have any change, " Alfred apologized, "but I do have, er" he checked his pockets, finding nothing of relevance to a beggar, "peace of mind?"

"I DON'T WANT A PIECE OF MIND. I WANT BOOZE, AND I NEED MONEY FOR BOOZE."

"But what do you want the booze for?" Alfred asked with a tone that may have indicated honest inquiry.

"TO DRINK. AND FORGET."

"Then I have something better, " Alfred spread his arms grandly, "then anything you might purchase with mere money. I have the finest--"

"WHAT"

"--finest gift any--" he persisted

"DON'T BE AN IDIOT."

"Okay." Alfred replied. "How do you feel about revenge?"

"I ADORE IT."

---

So Alfred gave the beggar his terrible revenge, which he took out with delirious pleasure. Some of his victims might have been called "good" by others, but the beggar saw them as evil, and so they suffered. And in the end, he might have been called "happy" by others, but the beggar saw himself as evil, and so he suffered. And in the very end, he died.

And Alfred walked on.